Capsule reviews of ‘Air Force One Down,’ ‘Float,’ and ‘Suncoast’

By Al Alexander/Boston Movie News

Super Bowl weekend is here, and so are a slew of mediocre movies looking to capitalize on a “holiday” devoid of major releases. These subpar offerings may look harmless, but buyers beware. That’s why your humble consumer advocate has decided to take one for the team by watching three of them, so you won’t have to. Here’s what I found: 

‘Air Force One Down’: Implausible plot twists

Unleashing one of the dumbest movies in a while, James Bamford counters the current presidential field by introducing a young, virile POTUS (Ian Bohen) able almost single-handedly to quash an Astovian uprising. I say “almost” because he receives a huge assist from his newest Secret Service agent, Allison (Katherine McNamara), a voluptuous blonde able to kick ass as well as any of her male peers. Sprung from the “mind” of writer-producer Steven Paul (“Baby Geniuses”), the highly implausible plot centers on a renegade Astovian general (Rade Serbedzija) commanding his legions to go all bin-Laden on the crew of Air Force One, snatching President Edwards (think a less-intelligent Gavin Newsom) and murdering everyone else. Well, everyone but Allison, who employs fists, knives, firearms, and just about anything she can get her hands on to free the prez before she and the leader of the free world parachute into enemy territory. There, the runway-ready duo slays some three dozen rebels—video-game style—and ponders who on Edwards’ staff might be the “mastermind.” Oh, keep an eye open for an almost unrecognizable Anthony Michael Hall as—I kid you not—Allison’s Uncle Sam. (Rated R, on VOD on Feb. 13). Grade: D

‘Suncoast’: Wasted talents

Somewhere within Laura Chinn’s writing-directing debut dwells a solid coming-of-age flick itching to break out. Don’t hold your breath. Somehow, Chinn manages to waste the talents of Laura Linney, Woody Harrelson, and Nico Parker, superb as an introvert who has spent her entire 17 years taking a backseat to her terminally ill older brother. But her fraught, single mom, Kristine (Linney), can only keep her down so long. The inevitable escape gets messy, as Parker’s Doris decides to spread her wings just as her dying sibling enters hospice. Not just any hospice, mind you, but the one cohabited by Terri Schiavo and surrounded by right-to-life protesters, including Harrelson’s recently widowed Paul Warren. The problem with Chinn’s fact-based script is that she struggles to establish a meaningful connection between Schiavo’s state of unconsciousness and Doris’ declaration of independence. Worse, it gets in the way of the film’s lone redeeming quality. And that would be the affecting war between the stressed-out Kristine and the lovely, charming daughter she’s always treated like a circa 2005 Cinderella. Their scenes are terrific and authentic. The rest of the movie feels forced and unfocused, especially Doris and Paul’s growing, mutually beneficial friendship. But Linney and Parker make it worth seeing—just barely. (Rated R; streaming on Hulu Feb. 9) Grade: B-

‘Float’: Clichés in romance

If you’re searching for the perfect Valentine’s Day movie, this isn’t it. It’s not much of anything, beyond a pleasing showcase for Andrea Bang (“Luce”) as Waverly, an overtaxed med student seeking asylum from an impending residency and her cloying parents. She finds said refuge with her black-sheep aunt (Michelle Krusiec) in a tiny Canadian town, much too good to be true. Naturally, she and the local lifeguard-swim instructor, Blake (Robbie Amell), hook up almost immediately. After all, he and his rebellious sister (Sarah Desjardins) live next door. How convenient! There are complications, of course, the sort imposed by screenwriters the ilk of Sherren Lee (who also directs) and Jesse LaVercombe, shamelessly resorting to using Waverly’s fear of water as a metaphor for her reluctance to wade into a relationship she’s convinced is just a summer fling. Bang does what she can with the material but is left drowning in cliches. (Rated PG-13; In theaters and on VOD Feb. 9). Grade: C