Dakota Johnson, Sydney Sweeney, and Adam Scott get tangled up in a convoluted comic-book story in “Madame Web,” which was partially filmed in Boston.
By Dana Barbuto/Boston Movie News
Could Sony have orchestrated a fake snowstorm last Tuesday as an excuse to cancel its advanced critics screening of “Madame Web”? Unfortunately, the studio never rescheduled, leaving local journalists in the city where much of the film was shot without a preview ahead of its Valentine’s Day release. Well, there’s nothing to love about it anyway.
Of course, no one knew the storm was going to be a total bust. However, the studio certainly had an inkling that its latest foray into the wide world of “Spider-Man” would be a complete flop. All the signs were there, including the day-before-opening critics screening. The studio seemed determined to keep it under wraps as long as possible, but it didn’t take the national press much time to spill the beans.
In “Madame Web,” which runs adjacent to the Marvel Cinematic Universe, Dakota Johnson (“The Lost Daughter”) plays Cassandra “Cassie” Webb, a clairvoyant paramedic whose sensory powers come to light after she makes a daring rescue atop the Tobin Bridge. Cassie lands in the water below, and her partner, Ben Parker (yup, Peter’s uncle), played by Adam Scott (“Severance”), brings her back to life. And just like that, her psychic powers are unlocked by the magical waters of the Mystic River.
“Madame Web” tells Cassie’s origin story. One that begins deep in the Amazon jungle where her pregnant mother is hunting for a special spider that possesses healing peptides in its venom. That mission goes sideways when her nefarious partner, Ezekiel Simms, turns the tables, steals the spider, and leaves a trail of bodies. Mom dies in childbirth, but not before baby Cassie absorbs some of that arachnid power. Fast forward 30 years to 2003, the era of Britney and Beyonce, and Cassie is a former foster kid with a chip on her shoulder and wicked deadpan delivery.
The screenplay, attributed to four writers, including the duo responsible for the disappointing “Morbius,” is a tangled narrative riddled with plot holes, sudden shifts in tone from buddy comedy to psychological thriller to conventional comic-book elements, uninspired action sequences, and pedestrian dialogue, featuring lines such as: “Her journey won’t be easy, but she will be strong.”
Cassie eventually teams up with a trio of teens she must protect from Simms (Tahar Rahim, “The Mauritanian”), who is on a murderous pursuit. The girls, played by Sydney Sweeney (“The White Lotus”), Isabela Merced (“Instant Family”), and Celeste O’Connor (“Ghostbusters: Afterlife”), initially display prickly attitudes until they bond over a table dance to Britney Spears’ “Toxic” at the 4 Star Diner, which, interestingly, becomes one of Peter Parker’s favorite hangouts. Though “Madame Web” is a “Spider-Man” spinoff, he’s never directly mentioned, even though his mother, Mary (Emma Roberts), is pregnant with him in the movie.
Director and co-writer SJ Clarkson (“Anatomy of a Scandal”) fails to ground the film. It feels like a bunch of disjointed scenes stitched together with no logical connections and too many notes from studio executives. The villain is lame, with no backstory explaining why he broke bad, aside from the repeated sneer, “I come from nothing.” Johnson is the hero, and she’s not a web-slinger, can’t climb walls, and never wears a super suit. Cassie’s abilities are more cerebral. But so are Doctor Strange’s powers, and he gets a good outfit. Johnson sports a rust-colored leather blazer, jeans, and combat boots. But clothes don’t make the woman, and Johnson, thankfully, acts with enough aloofness to show this is all nonsense. The real chemistry is between Johnson and Scott, a hint that a better movie might have focused on their friendship.
Eventually, the three girls do suit up to become a trio of Spider-Women, raising the intriguing question: Who knew there were so many arachno-avengers swinging around New York City in the early aughts? That query is enough to make one’s Spidey-sense tingle.
‘Madame Web’
Rating: PG-13 for violence/action and language.
Cast: Dakota Johnson, Sydney Sweeney, Isabela Merced, Celeste O’Connor, Tahar Rahim, Emma Roberts, Adam Scott
Director: SJ Clarkson
Writers: Matt Sazama & Burk Sharpless and Claire Parker & SJ Clarkson
Running time: 117 minutes
Where to watch: In theaters
Grade: C
Boston Movie News 